Tag: Advertising

Welcome D.Milly Dungbeetle

by on Jul.05, 2015, under D.Milly Dungbeetle

D.Milly Head ShotWell Hello There!

My name is D. Milfred Dungbeetle, but all of my friends call me D.Milly.  I want to start out by saying how much I appreciate Bent Screw giving me this forum to air my, ummmm, well… We’ll call them Beetle Snacks.  Now I don’t know how much you know about dung beetles, but we are a very necessary part of nature.  We eat, live in, raise our young in, and do about everything else in DUNG (poop, doodoo, caca, crap, …).  If we didn’t do this the world would be overrun with Beetle Snacks,  which is my name for dung.  I won’t bore you with a whole lot of science stuff but if you want to know more about my family and me you can click HERE to jump to Wikipedia for an overview.

So, why is a Dung Beetle blogging?  I am really happy you asked that, please allow me to explain…  I am really more  of a city dung beetle, so I really have a different lifestyle than my other family members. As a city dweller my diet is not the typical animal-produced fare.  I subsist more on other types of beetle snacks.  Unfortunately sometimes these are not very tasty and they are very hard even for a dung beetle to swallow.  That is where the blog comes in as a place to write about the unsavory side of BS.

Now for Today’s Snack

Fat Free Half-and-Half

Beetle Snacks!!!

Recently I got into the ‘fridge at work and I just could not believe my eyes. Here was the biggest piece of beetle snacks that I could imagine fitting into a refrigerator. Fat Free Half and Half! Can you imagine?!?! A company actually has the nerve to advertise Fat Free Half and Half. The Food Network Kitchen Dictionary defines Half and Half as “A mixture of half milk and half cream. It has 10-12% milk fat and cannot be whipped.” If Half and Half is 10-12% milk fat then HOW CAN IT BE FAT FREE? I am calling BEETLE SNACKS on this one, and it is too much for even a dung beetle to swallow. Maybe they should try a “Chemically enhanced fat free half and half like substance that is trying to act like something it is not.”  That rolls right off the tongue.  (Ingredients: Skim Milk, Corn Syrup, Cream, Contains less than 0.5% of the following: Carrageenan, Sodium Citrate, Dipotassium Phosphate, Mono and Diglycerides, Vitamin A Palmitate, Color Added)

That’s about it for today.  Remember, some posts will be funny, some will be serious, but they will all be Beetle Snacks!  Post with you later.

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